


Two's a Whole Lot Lonlier Than One

by waroftheposes



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Unnecessarily dense teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-18
Updated: 2015-08-18
Packaged: 2018-04-15 05:33:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4594737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waroftheposes/pseuds/waroftheposes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Don’t fight with Ronan</i>, he kept repeating in his head, although he knew it was futile. <i>Try not to fight with Ronan, not now, not after last night.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Two's a Whole Lot Lonlier Than One

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is dedicated to this line from Big Sean "And, hell, yeah, I'm a dick, girl, addicted to you" and to Blair, for repeatedly telling me that my writing doesn't suck.

Adam was doing his best to treat Ronan like normal. He was doing everything in his power to pretend that he was not hurt, that waking up in the morning and finding Ronan gone hadn’t shaken him to his core.

He’d been helping Blue make tea for her family when, without thinking of exactly what he was doing, he’d asked Ronan to fetch him something.

Ronan’s voice was biting when he replied, “Come over here and make me.”

Adam turned around, surprised. Although he’d expected shitty behavior from Ronan today, he had not anticipated that answer. 

“Excuse me?” He responded, resting his hands on the counter.

Ronan sat up on the chair, planting both of his feet on the tiled floor of Blue’s kitchen. “I said,” he bit out, “Come over here and make me.”

Adam regarded him silently. He was aware of Blue standing in the doorway, watching their exchange. He was also aware of the other people that lived in Blue’s house, and he didn’t want them to see Ronan angry. That’s what Ronan was, seething, and Adam didn’t understand why.

He furrowed his brows. “Did I do something to offend you?” he asked. _Don’t fight with Ronan,_ he kept repeating in his head, although he knew it was futile. _Try not to fight with Ronan, not now, not after last night._

Ronan shrugged, vague and infuriating. “I don’t know,” he said. “Did you?”

Adam gripped the counter to stop himself from snapping back. “I don’t think I did.”

The corner of Ronan’s mouth twitched. Not a smile, not a smirk. Something dark and angry. “Then I guess you didn’t.” He turned around, pushed Blue out of the doorway and disappeared from view. A moment later, Adam heard the door slam.

Blue was looking at her front door, seemingly more perplexed than Adam. She slowly turned towards Adam, after they’d both heard the BMW’s engines start and its tires screech away. “He does remember that we’re here to ask my mother specific, task-related questions right?” She asked. “Gansey specifically picked today because all four of us were free.”

Adam shrugged in response. He felt annoyed. Annoyed at Ronan’s unwarranted irascibility, annoyed at Blue for being calm and calculated in such a situation, annoyed at Gansey at having asked them all to be at 300 Fox Way, even annoyed at Maura and her friends for having the ability to help them in their search for the dead Welsh king.

“I don’t know what his issue is,” Adam said, his ability to conceal his annoyance ebbing away as his rational thought was replaced by anger. He tried his best not to swear, not to take it out on Blue. After all, it wasn’t her fault. “I’m not the Ronan interpreter.”

Blue raised an eyebrow. She said nothing.

“I’m not!” Adam protested.

Blue looked away, biting her lip. “Could have fooled me,” she muttered, clearly meaning for Adam to hear her. 

His head throbbed. He was starting to become angry with her, which was really unfair. Really, really unfair. It was Ronan’s fault. Ronan who had arrived at 300 Fox Way all casual, pretending that nothing had happened. Ronan who had left Adam’s apartment earlier that same morning, when Adam had still been asleep. Ronan who seemed to have been happy to put last night out of his mind.

He needed to get out of that house. To find Ronan and yell at him. To find Ronan and figure out what the hell was going on.

“I’m gonna go after him,” he said after a moment. 

Blue sighed, but said nothing as Adam gathered his belonging and left the house. It was only when he’d entered his car that he realized he had no idea where Ronan would be. The obvious choice was Monmouth, Ronan lived there. Adam turned on his car and headed towards Monmouth before he started thinking of other places Ronan could be. _One thing at a time_ , he told himself as he turned on his blinkers and turned on the street that would lead him to Gansey’s apartment.

—

 _“I just,” Adam breathed, exasperated. He wanted to tell Ronan,_ needed _to tell him. “I don’t know how to say it!”_

_“How to say what?” Ronan asked slowly, each word sounding like a struggle as it left his mouth. “Work with me here Parrish.”_

_Adam closed his eyes, dropping his arms down, feeling defeated. His heart was pounding loudly, he wondered if Ronan could hear it. He took a deep breath, willing his heart to slow down. This was ridiculous, he already knew how Ronan felt about him. He just needed to get his own words out._

_“Just say it,” Ronan was saying, his voice hesitant. “Whatever it is, get it over with.”_

I like you, _Adam repeated in his head, over and over again, willing the words to find their way onto his tongue, to leave his mouth._ I like you so much, sometimes it hurts.

 _Adam opened his eyes. Ronan was regarding him silently, patiently. Very un-Ronan like. Adam thought,_ I can do this _, and took another deep breath._

“ _I think,” he began, and then faltered, because he was a coward. He felt his face burning. “I like you.” The words left him as if they had been ripped out. He felt like he was physically wounded as the seconds ticked by and Ronan regarded him silently._

_“You like me?” he asked Adam finally, slowly, like he could not believe his own words._

_Unable to speak, Adam nodded._

_“Like me how?” Ronan continued, which exasperated Adam. He was certain there was no other way to_ like _someone other than romantically. Not in a situation like this. Unable to explain himself further, Adam leaned forward and kissed Ronan._

—

Ronan wasn’t at Monmouth. Adam should have expected this, it was never going to be that easy to find him. 

Really Adam should have left when he’d failed to see Ronan’s car in the garage. But he wanted to make sure that Ronan was not at Monmouth and that involved going inside. Unfortunately, Gansey was at Monmouth. He didn’t look up when Adam entered the building, too absorbed in his notebook to notice that someone had joined him in the living room. Adam walked towards Ronan’s room silently, hoping that Gansey would continue in his state of obliviousness. 

Adam opened the door silently. Inside was a mess of clothes and books, but no sign of Ronan. He closed the door as quietly as he could manage and turned to leave. Unfortunately that was when Gansey decided to look up from his notebook and spotted Adam.

“Adam?” he asked in confusion.

Adam decided the way to go was honesty. “Hey, Gansey,” he started. “It looks like I won’t be able to join you at Blue’s house today. Something came up.”

Gansey furrowed his brows. “Is everything alright?”

Adam nodded, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “Yeah, everything is fine. Ronan’s being a dick, big surprise,” he responded. “I’m trying to find him before he destroys something important,” he stopped, realizing too late that his words would likely worry Gansey. 

“Is Ronan ok?” Gansey stood up, looking more concerned than before.

“He’s fine,” Adam responded. “I’ll find him, I’ll take care of it.” _Hopefully_ , he added silently. 

Gansey didn’t look convinced. “Maybe we should all go looking for him.”

“No!” Adam said, perhaps too quickly. “I mean,” he went on, hoping to ease Gansey’s growing suspicion. “I’ll find him ok?”

Gansey nodded, looking unconvinced, and Adam fled Monmouth before Gansey had time to change his mind and follow Adam out.

He drove to the Barns. 

The place was empty, a feeling of something lost clinging to all its corners. Adam searched Niall’s office and the house, looking first for Ronan’s car and then for Ronan. He found neither, and after half an hour of searching, he stomped back to his car and sat in the passenger seat. The sun was beginning to set, and he had one more place to check. St. Agnes was one of Ronan’s go-to places, but Adam had assumed that since Ronan had been inexplicably angry with him, he would not go there. Now, after having spent hours avoiding St. Agnes, Adam decided to go to the church.

He turned on his car, reaching over to turn on the music. He sighed when the first notes of _Murder Squash_ came on, but he did not change the music while driving. At points, he even sang along.

—

_Ronan kissed him like it was the the only thing keeping him alive. He kissed with a passion and desperation that made Adam’s heart clench with longing. Adam pressed himself closer to Ronan, wrapping his arms around Ronan’s neck, and felt Ronan’s fingers trail down his sides and grip his waist._

_When Ronan finally pulled back, he looked dazed. He smiled at Adam, fingers tracing the line of Adam’s jaw. Adam bit his lips, unable to look at Ronan. Feeling his cheeks heat up and his heart attempt to beat out of his chest, Adam briefly thought about moving away. But he couldn’t, that was physically impossible. Instead, Adam moved closer and rested his forehead on Ronan’s shoulder._

_He felt Ronan let out a relieved laugh more than he heard it. Adam raised his head, looking inquisitively at Ronan._

_“What?” he asked._

_Ronan leaned his head forward and rested his forehead against Adam’s._

_“I never,” he breathed. “In a million years, thought that would happen.”_

_Adam tilted his chin and kissed him softly, briefly. “Well, it did.”_

_Ronan sighed. “Yeah, it did.”_

_Adam raised his head, looking at the clock. “Stay the night?”_

_Ronan smiled._

_—_

He wasn’t in the chapel. Adam looked everywhere, scared of being caught by a nun or priest, but he looked, and he didn’t find Ronan. He sat on one of the benches, feeling panic start to build up in the pit of his stomach. Ronan wasn’t in any of the usual places he frequented, which could mean that he was possibly out, racing.

Adam took a deep breath and stood up. He would not search the streets of Henrietta aimlessly for Ronan. He would, however, get Gansey and have him call Ronan until the asshole picked up his phone. 

When he walked outside, however, his eyes caught on something that they had missed on his haste to enter the church. Ronan’s black car was tucked away at the farthest corner of the church parking lot. Ronan was here, somewhere in the building.

Adam turned around and entered the church. He knew it was empty, since he had already searched it, so he headed towards his own small apartment.

He found Ronan sitting with his head in his hands, his back resting against Adam’s door. He didn’t move as Adam approached him. Only raised his head when Adam sat next to him quietly.

He looked conflicted, his brows furrowed in pain. Adam wanted to reach out and smooth the lines on Ronan’s forehead with his fingers. He didn’t though, he sat there and watched Ronan, relieved that he was ok, angry at his outburst.

“I messed up,” Ronan said after a moment of silence. 

Adam leaned his head against the door. “No shit,” he said, glancing at Ronan from the corner of his eyes. “Why did you leave this morning?”

Ronan wouldn’t meet his eyes. “I freaked out. I woke up and you were sleeping next to me, and I just freaked.”

Adam shifted to face Ronan, sitting cross legged. He didn’t feel as angry anymore, only confused. “Why?”

Ronan’s laugh was laced with self deprecation. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted you, Parrish,” he said, running hand over his shaved head. “Hell, even I don’t know how long I’ve actually liked you.”

“So what?” Adam asked, willing him to keep talking.

 _“_ So I’m not good at talking,” Ronan said, as if that much wasn’t obvious to Adam. “I woke up and you were sleeping and I thought of all the ways that I could have misinterpreted what you said last night, and I freaked out and left.”

Adam, who had no idea how his confession and kisses could be interpreted as anything but what they were meant to be, remained silent.

“And then at Blue’s house, you acted like nothing had happened and I…” Ronan trailed off, looking ashamed. “Well, you were there.”

“I was hurt!” Adam responded. “I literally woke up this morning and you were gone. And there was no note. It was like last night hadn’t even happened,” Adam stopped, realizing the apparent hurt in his own voice, willing himself to sound less vulnerable.

“I know, I’m sorry,” Ronan said, reaching out tentatively and cupping Adam’s cheek. “I’m a dick. I have communication issues. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Adam leaned into his touch, closing his eyes. “I was worried about you.”

“God, I’m sorry,” Ronan said, and Adam reached up to grab his hands. He laced their fingers together and opened his eyes.

“You’re doing a really good job of being reasonable right now,” he said and Ronan laughed.

“I’ve had a while to think about this,” he responded. “What took you so long?”

On one hand, Adam did not want to give Ronan the satisfaction of knowing how extensive Adam’s search had been, since he had hurt Adam that day. On the other hand, he’d already forgiven Ronan. 

“Well, I went to Monmouth first,” he said, moving closer to Ronan and letting go of Ronan’s hand to let Ronan drape it over his shoulder. He leaned his head on Ronan’s shoulder. “You weren’t there so I went to the Barns.”

“You what?” Ronan asked, surprised. 

Adam shrugged. “I thought you might choose to go there, since it’s your happy place.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that’s completely true…” Ronan began, but infuriatingly didn’t elaborate.

“When you weren’t there, I came here, searched the church,” Adam continued. “I was about to give up and call Gansey when I saw your car in the parking lot.”

“I’ve been here the entire time,” Ronan supplied.

Adam nudged Ronan’s chin with his nose. “I forgive you,” he said because it was the truth, because he liked Ronan way too much to be able to say anything else.

“Thank you,” Ronan replied.

Adam leaned back, regarding Ronan seriously. “Don’t do it again though,” he said.

Ronan looked mischievous for a second. “I’ll try not to.”

“Ronan…” Adam began, but Ronan cut him off with a brief kiss.

“I won’t,” he said afterwards.

Adam leaned his head against Ronan’s shoulder. “We should probably text Gansey to let him know you’re ok.”

Ronan hummed in agreement.

“We should go in my apartment, my butt is starting to hurt,” Adam went on.

Standing up, Ronan extended a hand to help Adam get up. Adam took it without thought and let Ronan pull him up and into an embrace. When Ronan kissed him, it was soft and reverent.

“I never thought you would kiss like this,” Adam said when they parted.

“Like what?” Ronan asked, a smile playing on his lips.

 _Like I mean something_ , Adam thought. _Like kissing me makes you incredibly happy._

“Like this,” Adam said and leaned in to show him. 

**Author's Note:**

> It began with "come over here and make me" and then I just started writing. This is the result. Come talk to me about this stupid (amazing) book series if you care to, on [tumblr](http://waroftheposes.tumblr.com).


End file.
